Quiet

(Pictures from Little Farmer)

It's funny how much life changes after you are a parent. It's not like life was boring or unfulfilling before. I loved life. Just Rich and I, hanging out, going out to dinner (having a few drinks at the bar before our meal, cuz what the heck? We got all night...). Reading a great book on a Saturday. Spending extra time at work, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. In fact, I remember being so happy that a tiny part of me was afraid to become a mom. I wondered if I was too selfish to hack it.

I'm thinking about life before motherhood tonight only because I am home alone. No husband. No kid. Just me. Just me and the Quiet. I realize now that Rich and I can still have a few glasses of wine (now it's just after our carry-out dinner) I can still read whenever I want (our favorite characters are Dora and Boots). And now I make use of every minute at work so I can hurry home to my little girl.

I think God has me all alone for a reason this weekend. Sure, I got my hair done, I'll grocery shop in peace tomorrow, and I'll spend a night out with the girls, but I can hear Him whispering in my ear. I know when they come back on Sunday, the toys will resume their normal positions on my carpet, the news will be switched to cartoons, and I will have to hide the Halloween candy I've been munching on unless I want a sugar-high toddler/monster on my hands. I will miss the quiet. But I will love the noise more.

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Last night Rich brought Annessa into bed with us. She had been sound asleep in her room and he scooped her out of her bed and carefully laid down our sleeping girl. I snuggled close and could smell the fresh scent of baby lotion. Her little foot fit perfectly in my hand. Her soft snores filled my ears as I thought about how everything that really mattered in my life was in this bed.

(Little did I know that an hour later, Rich put her back into her own bed. Apparently, she was kicking and twisting and MOVING and kicking and MOVING so much that Rich couldn't stand it anymore. Ahh....the dreamy benefits of being a sound sleeper...)