Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Goldilocks


When it rains it pours. Last month when we went through all of the fertility "stuff" we were told I had no lining, and no mature eggs. Now this month, my lining is great and I have up to five (yes 5!!!!) mature eggs. It sounds great in theory, but in reality I DO NOT want to me the next Octo-mom. On second thought, maybe I could call up TLC and get us on a reality show...So now we are faced with a decision - do we go through with this month, knowing that the risk of multiples is high, or do we wait. And wait. And wait.

The doctor tells me that the chances of all five implanting are very slim. Even four would be a long-shot. But still, he had to talk to me about "selective reduction." So of course I did what any smart woman would do: I Googled it. Basically, in selective reduction, they insert a long needle into your tummy, find an embryo, and inject it with a solution that makes it go lifeless. Lifeless. Women that chose this option often felt guilt and shame; however, the rest of their babies had a better chance of life.

This conflicts with everything I believe. I sit here at such a loss - do we go through with it and hope we get one (or two) babies? I mean this is the best chance we've had for a sibling for Annessa in over a year. Or, do we pass. I feel like Goldilocks- too hot, too cold, just right. Will We ever find our "just right?" Is this it?

Friday, July 9, 2010

McDonald's, French Fries, and God

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

The other day Annessa and I were at McDonald's (I know, not the most healthy choice, but what am I supposed to do with an almost-3-year-old after 3 straight days of rain? Oh, and did I mention we live an an APARTMENT so there is no basement to send her to so she can run off her energy...)

ANYWAY, back to McDonald's. Annessa had just finished her chicken nuggets and fries so I told her she could go play in the playland (hey, I least I insist that she eats the junk BEFORE she plays...). ANYWAY, back to my story.

I'm sitting at a table, talking to a friend when I hear Annessa talking to a little boy. "Do you go to church?" She asks as they trade happymeal toys (side note: nice sharing Ness!)

"No," says the boy.

"I go to church. I learn about Jesus. You can learn about Jesus too."

Are you kidding me??? Did my little almost-3-year-old just MINISTER to a little boy at McDonald's??! Amazing. Maybe if we could all be like kids, life on earth would be sweeter.

Oh, and God, if you could help me make the switch from fries to apple slices, that would be great....