Saturday, January 14, 2012

Superhuman

A friend of ours mom passed away over New Year's.  Wendy was sick for quite awhile (actually, she was diagnosed the same month my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and that was....seven-ish years ago I think).  At the time, of her diagosis, the doctors didn't predict Wendy would live nearly as long as she did. 

I was talking with my friend, Leigh, about this - how did she defy the odds and hold on so long?  I'm not sure what her family thinks, but from the outside looking in, it seems like being a mom and a grandma is what made her hold on year after year.  It seems like there was always a wedding or a birth to live for each year.

So, does being a mom provides women with superhuman strength? 

Hmm....I kinda think it does.  I can say honestly that I would never have survived the month Rich was in a coma if I didn't have to be strong for my daughter.  I'm also pretty sure that my mom has dug deep when she just wanted to give up.  I have seen it in my friends too - this crazy ability to overcome the hardest crap so they could be there for their children.  When you're a mom, you don't really have the option of curling up in bed and wallowing in self-pity for weeks, months, or heck - years. 

I can say with confidence that my daughter has given me superhuman strength.  I bet Wendy's two daughters and her son gave her the strength she needed to live just one more day.  Then another. And another. 

I can also say that the desire to become a mom gives you superhuman strength.  I know from my own experiences, and the trials of other women I know well, that the drive to be called "mom" is unstoppable.  We will do whatever it takes to achieve this title.  This love.  There were times during my fertility treatments that I was tired, bitchy, overwhelmed, and just too damn busy for another doctor appointment.  There were times that I was sick of blood tests and giving myself shots.  But.  Not tired enough to give up.  Take a break?  Yes.  Regroup?  Of course.  But stop?  No.

As women, we are superhuman.  After all - could a man talk on the phone, wash the dishes,cook dinner, and discipline his child with "the look" all at the same time? I think not.